beirut impromptu®

the relocation

2007-01-31T16:02:00.000+02:00

It's final. gunpowder Monk will be arriving in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia on Feb. 18, 2007.As of that date, I will set about the process of changing the blog to suit the new location.Thank you for being patient. It's not easy to pack your life up in bags and relocate. And you all know how messed up Beirut's been in the last many weeks. A civil war is simmering over a slow and sure fire.Please visit

relocation information

2007-01-18T10:35:00.000+02:00

To all the readers who have persistently visited this blog even though it hasn't been updated in ages, I say "Thank you."There has been a dramatic change in my life recently, and you will know all about it as soon as I revamp this blog. Soon, it will no longer be "Beirut Impromptu" but something else; something like "Jeddah Impromptu," but the decision is yet to be final.I am currently in the

i'm back -- almost

2007-01-06T02:04:00.000+02:00

there really can be no excuse for not writing anything since December 20, except maybe the fact that i am preparing for a major change in status.i am currently racing through my thoughts in hope of finding anything remotely resembling anything of interest to write, but nothing has happened since December 20. Or has it?I played soccer twice, for the first time in over 3 years. For the first time

I've been busy

2006-12-20T16:28:00.000+02:00

...which means my record has been tarnished.I apologize to the frequent visitors for the lack of new material, but something is cooking slowly and I'm letting it simmer before I tell you all about it. If you are into finger-crossing, cross your fingers of the Gunpowder Monk, because he is in need of plenty of luck.Or, just write me a small comment wishing me luck. It's all the same. It all works

thank you, search engine

2006-12-15T16:00:00.000+02:00

I can't believe that Google actually helped me find an age-old friend. but it did.Only two days ago I decided to Google my friend's name and found him. After 12 years since i last saw him, I finally found him. I will be even more cheesy: Not only did i find him, but I also found two more friends, whose emails he possessed.So Google did the 3-in-1.Try it today. Type a friend's name into Google,

Olmert's saucy confessions

2006-12-13T14:49:00.000+02:00

So, it seems that Olmert can just come out and confess to Israel's possession if nuclear weapons and throw the whole region into turmoil. Sometimes you wonder whether the Jewish state wants to have peace in the area, or is it really into the masochistic habit of creating pain for itself and its neighbors.Olmert's stupid words just pushed a snowball over the top of a very high mountain.Now, Iran

hope on the horizon

2006-12-11T09:08:00.000+02:00

Clichés come in many shapes and sizes, for all occasions. But one cliché really made my day this morning. Good things come to those who wait.I have waited for 10 whole years in this cockroach-infested quasi-country. Good things are appearing over the horizon.Thank you, Hala.must-be-saidsMeanwhile, I must also thank the beautiful and amazing Lou for being even more supportive than expected. There

The Fisherman’s Friend

2006-12-10T22:26:00.000+02:00

It wasn’t a usual summer night that year. Although the cool breeze eased the humidity, there was something surreal about the midnight sea at Ain el-Mreisseh, Beirut’s seafront. August always brings jellyfish, and they appear like plastic bags dumped by some indifferent god into the Mediterranean. But on this August night in 2004, the jellyfish glowed like grayish streetlamps in the navy blue sea.

Hezbollah mob finds alternative to guns

2006-12-08T10:40:00.000+02:00

Wow…Hassan Nasrallah was really pissed off yesterday, accusing Siniora and the Lebanese government of selling him out to Israel during the July War. That’s big news.But what really deep-fried my goose was when he “ordered” his followers not to “fire a single bullet” in jubilation after his speech was over. He asked them not to fire their rifle in the air, an Arab form of jubilation reserved

a thorough brainwashing

2006-12-07T09:35:00.000+02:00

I not only hate the current political scene in Lebanon, which may be compared to a sewage-system (although I’m sure sewage never smelled so foul), but I also hate the manner in which the media is reporting it. Lebanon is setting new standards in news reporting.I’ve heard many Lebanese people accuse CNN and Fox News of being biased. I’ve heard them accuse the NY Times and other newspapers of

frustrated blogger

2006-12-06T11:47:00.000+02:00

I hate the fact that Blogger always lets me down when I need it most.I am having trouble posting and it's really discouraging. Thought I'd share my frustration with you.- GM

بِتحِبّ لبنان؟

2006-12-04T16:28:00.000+02:00

بِتحِبّ لبنان؟حِب صناعتهإحترم نظام سيرهإحترم إشارات السير فيهإحترم قوانينهإحترم شرطي المرور فيهما تصُف عالرصيفكِبّ الزبالة في مكانها المخصّصإحترم نسائه و بناتهإحترم طوائفهما بِتحِب لبنان؟خلّيك مِتل ما انت (طائفي و وَسخ و ماشي بِعكس السير) و ما تِتغيّر

what a weekend

2006-12-04T10:06:00.000+02:00

Thanks to the many freedom-fighters gathered in Beirut’s downtown district all weekend, I’ve had one of the worst weekends of my life. Yes, we all want change. But we want change for the better.On Friday, my girlfriend and I stacked up on DVDs in fearful anticipation of an eventful weekend that would force us to remain indoors. We borrowed Wolfgang Becker’s “Goodbye Lenin” (2003) and Martin

latest news on Hezbollah-Aoun protest

2006-12-01T09:54:00.000+02:00

Yesterday at noon, Hezbollah's Hassan Nasrallah addressed his million followers and said: "Tomorrow (Friday) at 3:00pm, we will demonstrate in the downtown district in order to restore Syria's influence in Lebanon." Nasrallah went on to threaten to use violence and missile against anyone who opposes the protest.In parallel news, Christian MP Michel Aoun has also called on his followers to take to

I've been Schnozed (and I survived it)

2006-11-30T08:15:00.000+02:00

It's nice to wake up in the morning and find a comment on one of your posts, saying: "you've been Schnozed." Especially when you've been Schnozed by two of Internet's most feared superheroes.Read what they had to say about beirut impromptu®.I would like to tell the Heaven Nose duo that if they're ever in Lebanon for a visit, I would gladly show them around. The country is famous for many more

one more reason to hate this country

2006-11-29T09:48:00.000+02:00

A colleague of mine spend 7 hours yesterday morning trying to get her mother into a hospital. Because her mother is not insured, getting her into a hospital was a dilemma, as rates can be quite discouraging, to say the least. I decided to share this story because of what happened at the last hospital she attempted to get into; the one she finally managed to get a room in — the hospital where she

shameless self-promotion

2006-11-28T22:17:00.000+02:00

Dear all,The Gunpowder Monk would like to inform all his friends and enemies in Lebanon that the movie "Falafel" is now showing in Cinema Circuit throughout the month of December.For those of you who didn't know, the Monk has made music for this movie. Although little has been said about it, "Falafel" was actually sponsored by the French ministry of culture.I have an urge to talk more about my

in search of clues, girl gets free mug shot

2006-11-28T08:41:00.000+02:00

Because Industry Minister Pierre Gemayyel was shot to death by men who drove a black Honda CRV, Lebanese detectives are on the search for the owner of the 4x4.Over the weekend, an acquaintance was contacted by the detectives because she owned a black Honda CRV. They took mug shots of her, scrutinized the car for any signs. Those who had killed the minister first rammed the car into his, causing

music to die for

2006-11-27T08:59:00.000+02:00

Although death seems to be the perpetual theme in this god forsaken patch of land called Lebanon, I am so heartless as to say that the political murders and car bombings do carry a good side.All last week, due to the unfortunate murder-by-gunfire or Industry Minister Pierre Gemayyel, all radio stations in Lebanon were airing classical music. Classical meant anything from orchestral masterpieces

one sad Monday

2006-11-23T11:49:00.000+02:00

My grandpa died on Sunday night, alone, in his room, a little delusional, and talking to the ghosts of his parents who died over 20 years ago. On Monday morning, I took the bus to Tripoli and found myself standing outside the room in which my now absent grandpa was being washed in the traditional Muslim fashion. I passed on watching or

the rest of the story, as promised

2006-11-17T09:04:00.000+02:00

As promised earlier, I managed to (sweet)talk the fiancée into writing about her catastrophe at the hairdresser's on the night of our engagement.Before you read it, you must know that the salon is called "Pace e Luce," which, in Italian, means "peace and light." This bit of information will help you understand some of the writing.Here's another piece of information: Pace e Luce is frequented by

funny

2006-11-16T14:38:00.000+02:00

While browsing the internet today, I ran across an amazing nickname for Lebanon's chameleon of a politican, Walid (Bek) Jumblatt.Jumpalot.Now that is funny.

academia's deterioration begins here

2006-11-16T11:23:00.000+02:00

The American University of Beirut (AUB) has always been a microcosm of Lebanon. It contains students from all niches of society, from all financial statuses and different upbringings, ideologies and beliefs.Yesterday, the immured AUB proved itself to be a mirror image of the ugly outside.Not only did the student elections display the horrendous reality that the country’s politics have become, but

as seen from below

2006-11-14T14:09:00.000+02:00

rules of engagement (part 2)

2006-11-13T10:51:00.001+02:00

On that fateful day, the Shiite ministers of Hezbollah and the Amal movement decided to resign and plunge the country, yet again, into a crazy whirlpool. On that fateful day, negotiations between the self-centered ministers ended abruptly in the afternoon.My family and I listened to the bad news on the radio as we prepared ourselves for the night ahead of us.On that fateful day, my family and I

views of the city

2006-11-13T09:40:00.000+02:00

These wonderful sights make me fall in love again with the city. Beirut is not a place you want to leave. It's a place you have to leave.The photos below were taken during a stroll through what I consider to be one of Beirut's most beautiful neighborhoods: Monnot Street and thereabouts.

neighbors...(everybody needs good neighbors)

2006-11-10T10:32:00.000+02:00

Sorry for the lame title, but I was thinking more Kylie Minogue than Aussie soap.Anyway, I just wanted to say that, every once in a while, our neighbors to the south come up with brilliant ideas and show a little tact. They are so sensitive and they really want to help the Lebanese government. Of course, we need to keep in mind that, if the Lebanese government decides to dispatch information to

act now, draft later

2006-11-09T09:37:00.000+02:00

French UN troops in southern Lebanon were the target of Israeli aircraft muscle displays earlier this month. According to the French Defense Minister, it was “a miracle” that the French troops maintained their cool and did not respond using anti-aircraft missiles against the Israeli pilots. That’s how the story goes.French General Allain Pelligrini in south Lebanon said that self-defense against

it's gonna be a bright, sunshiny day

2006-11-08T08:58:00.000+02:00

What a fresh new morning. The Democrats won the midterm elections over the Republicans in the USA, and President George W. Bush is about to taste the bitter end of his pro-war anti-freedom policies. First, we must wait and see. The ballot machines have proved themselves to be easily manipulated on several earlier occasions. We never know what the final results will be. Whatever it is, Bush has

untitled

2006-11-07T12:43:00.000+02:00

break your necks, not your ice

2006-11-07T12:40:00.000+02:00

What nerve do politicians and media have in calling the talk sessions an “ice breaking session.” When one refers to something as an ice breaker, one means that people are getting to know each other and establish ties. But, for f***’s sake, these people have been in power for the last 30 years…do they still need an ice breaking session to get to meet?I know for sure that many Lebanese youth are

lazy cat

2006-11-07T11:24:00.000+02:00

rules of engagement

2006-11-06T10:44:00.000+02:00

Getting engaged is so complicated. It has to be; we perfected it. I don’t think there’s anywhere in the world where ‘fiancéesim’ is so important. I personally am against it, but decided to give it a shot for societal reasons. Yes, I succumbed.Dear Sary, I am sorry to inform you that I’ve conformed.This weekend, we hunted down the engagement bands and found a jeweler’s that would carve and execute

I caught the lightning - a look into Wednesday's explosion

2006-11-03T09:11:00.000+02:00

It was a rainy day last Saturday. In fact, it was more stormy than rainy.Yours truly was sitting on his fiancée-to-be’s balcony with his camera, trying to capture lightning on film. The extent of my success cannot be discussed herein, although, as you can see below, I did manage to capture lighting at least once. Notice how the sky behind the central building is glowing.That is lightning in the

healthy lifestyle with unhealthy results

2006-11-02T10:46:00.000+02:00

When it rains it pours.A week ago, I went to the doctor complaining from a strange cough that was keeping me up all night; strange because it only happened at night while I spend the whole day without a single ailment. The doctor did the usual checkups, spending some 10 minutes on my lungs alone.A few minutes later, he drowned me in medical jargon before prescribing six medications; six very

welcome to my skies

2006-10-31T12:29:00.000+02:00

Eight Israeli fighter planes performed mock raids over the suburbs of Beirut for almost half an hour starting 9:30 am today. More planes roamed freely in the Lebanese airspace, over the south, north and eastern Bekaa valley. You could call it a neighborly visit. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?It is always a welcome break from the daily routine to have Israeli fighter jets soar over our heads. I was

more observations in color

2006-10-31T08:38:00.000+02:00

This last one is my favorite.

nota bene

2006-10-26T12:53:00.000+03:00

Dear readers,I am alive and well, although I am suffering from the after effects of the Eid (the festivities following the end of the holy month Ramadan). I am still a bit shaky because of the many fire-crackers that have been going off as celebrations take place. I've also been unnerved by the BB-guns that kids on the streets are carrying.I will be back to posting once I recover from that, and

viva la security!!!

2006-10-20T15:20:00.000+03:00

I feel safe. For the first time in a long time I actually feel safe. My good-for-nothing government has proved itself capable of doing a few things to protect its citizens: Setting up surveillance cameras all over Beirut to keep an eye on the security of the citizenry.I am so happy.Finally, Beirut resembles the city of one of my favorite books, George Orwell’s “1984.” Finally, Big Brother begins

studies of light - observations in color

2006-10-20T09:07:00.000+03:00

how much hate can one state generate?

2006-10-19T16:29:00.000+03:00

According to this article by Reuters, Hezbollah had also used cluster munitions in the July War. This is what the Human Rights Watch said. This is the same organization that earlier accused Tel Aviv of using cluster bombs against civilians in Lebanon.While I am ready to believe that Hezbollah used the internationally banned weapon, I am very curious about the effects of this report on the global

a scandal in Beirut (updated)

2006-10-18T16:14:00.000+03:00

UPDATED ON OCTOBER 19Everyone loves a scandal. Everyone. And I’m no exception to the rule.Ever since July, I’ve been nagging and nagging about garbage on the streets of Lebanon. I nagged here and there….I even sent the pictures I have to a local English-language daily and didn’t get a single sign of life from the other end.Well, only yesterday, I learned about a “gentlemen’s agreement” between

letter to the lord - part II

2006-10-17T15:18:00.000+03:00

read letter to the lord - part IDear god,Whenever it rains, the streets flood and I can’t cross the road. I don’t want the rain to stop, but could I at least have one of those canes you gave Moses?It’s winter now, but the girls’ clothes are getting shorter and shorter. Some girls even wore slippers in the rain today. Explain.What colors, besides brown and black, can I wear this winter? Red, blue,

rain vs. rocket launcher

2006-10-16T16:30:00.000+03:00

I always accused Beirut of being a dirty city, but the city never gave itself away like it did this weekend. And boy was it dirty.On Saturday night, the same night the mystery men launched rockets at PM Fuad Siniora’s offices in downtown, my beautiful companion and me were heading to the city center for tea. It was almost 10 pm.We had almost arrived at downtown, after a half-hour’s walk from home

We, the People [Guinea Pigs]

2006-10-13T14:45:00.000+03:00

Today, I noticed something strange taking place in a small shop outside of the American university of Beirut (AUB). Although its official name is “Epi D’Or,” The small shop goes by the name of “Abu Naji,” after the friendly old man who runs the place. And in this little well-known shop, something strange is taking place.Going back in time, we need to make two pit stops to understand the strange

deathwish

2006-10-12T12:11:00.000+03:00

When do you know that you’ve given it your best shot and it’s time to quit?I’ve been in this country for 10 years now, having returned to live here after roaming the Arab world because of my father’s occupation. Ten years in this country and I have never once lost my faith in Lebanon’s ability to stand on its feet.I finished my last year of high school and headed to a university in hope of

angel of fire

2006-10-12T08:54:00.000+03:00

Saudi Arabian schools to spawn peaceful Muslims

2006-10-10T12:39:00.000+03:00

The Saudi Arabian regime is currently putting together a new curriculum for its schools. This new curriculum is meant to spread a more tolerant Islam. In other words, prompted by the US, Saudi teachers have begun to prepare books that would make the students less prone to Islam-related violence, or terrorism, as George W. thinks.“Islam-related’ is a funny phrase. Islam is not an intolerant

silent neighbors

2006-10-09T16:05:00.001+03:00

A student housing facility at the American University of Beirut (AUB). I love the geometry, hate the coldness.

the key witness to nothing

2006-10-09T15:40:00.000+03:00

Mohammad Zuhair al-Siddiq. This name should sound very familiar to anyone who has any interests whatsoever in the Hariri murder investigation. Mr. Siddiq is the key witness in the investigation. A Syrian national, Siddiq claims he’s got what it takes to implicate the Lebanese and Syrian Presidents in the Hariri murder, namely, videos, recordings and documents.The Lebanese media has really been

summer, Kyoto, and an NGO

2006-10-04T12:42:00.000+03:00

The sun is out and the grass is green and the heat is on. Summer is in full bloom in October, people. Five or six years back we would’ve been wearing long sleeves this time of year. But ever since then, winter has been pushed so far back that, last year only, we spent New Year s Eve in short sleeves. Almost.You’ve heard of the Kyoto Protocol. You’ve heard about greenhouse gases and greenhouse

when cartoonists are paid to draw

2006-10-03T14:52:00.000+03:00

It's funny how this cartoon doesn't have any civilians or buildings in it. Israel is attacking Hamas and Hezbollah in the deserts? Where are the cluster bombs and dead children? Anyway, it's really a funny cartoon, regardless of the fact it doesn't say much about the barbaric side of Israel's "war on terrorism".

the war happened here

2006-10-02T11:37:00.001+03:00

Yesterday at noon, I took the car for a short drive to my aunt’s house in the Beirut suburb. The very suburb that was, almost two months ago, being bombarded ruthlessly by Israeli jet fighters. What I saw there was intimidating.I’m sure much was written about the damage and about the homes that were destroyed. You’ve all seen images and videos and news reports. Many of you know someone who lives

studies in black & white

2006-10-02T09:26:00.000+03:00

before the war

2006-09-29T14:56:00.000+03:00

The after effects of the war are a bit uglier than the demolished homes in southern Lebanon, or the demolished bridges and buildings all over the country. They are a bit sadder than the thousands who got killed or the hundreds of thousands who were displaced. The after effects are a bit dirtier than the garbage and cockroaches and rats that now occupy the streets of Beirut and other Lebanese

the American University of Beirut, by night

2006-09-29T10:14:00.000+03:00

Bliss HallThe flaming bush

security zone: Beirut

2006-09-28T11:47:00.001+03:00

Dear world,Did you know that you can’t take pictures in Beirut? The reason is that Lebanon is a high-security area. If you try to take a picture of a building that has an ex-minister in it, the cops will come and attempt to confiscate the camera. If you try to take a picture of garbage on the streets, the people who threw the garbage will chase you. If you try to take a picture of a tree, the

launching our sister site

2006-09-27T10:10:00.000+03:00

Dear readers,From now on, the musings and rantings of the AltaVista Babel Fish can be found at our sister site, Crazy Fish. Please feel free to pass by for long laughs.Thank you.Gunpowder Monk

return of the babel fish

2006-09-27T08:13:00.000+03:00

Two good songs utterly destroyed. Learn How.Nothingman by Pearl Jamonce divided...nothing left to subtract...some words when spoken...can't be taken back...walks on his own...with thoughts he can't help thinking...future's above...but in the past he's slow and sinking...caught a bolt 'a lightnin'...cursed the day he let it go...nothingman...nothingman...isn't it something?nothingman...she once

Tuesday Trivia Question

2006-09-26T12:16:00.000+03:00

Who is the ugly man whose country will join Israel and Iran as in the nuclear race?The answer.

studies of street-lamp and tree (in color)

2006-09-26T11:28:00.000+03:00

So why did the Gunpowder Monk suddenly take an interest in photography? Because beauty is in the eye of the camera.

more from the fish

2006-09-26T08:17:00.000+03:00

Here are a few more great poems destroyed by an automated translator. Enjoy:Who Knows If the Moon’s a Balloonby e. e. cummingswho knows if the moon'sa balloon, coming out of a keen cityin the sky--filled with pretty people?(and if you and i shouldget into it, if theyshould take me and take you into their balloon,why thenwe'd go up higher with all the pretty peoplethan houses and steeples and

camera crazy

2006-09-25T10:00:00.000+03:00

Lately, the city has been looking good. Through the eyes of the camera, Beirut seems to me a distant city I am visiting for the first time. I might have just discovered how to love this city after all.

solitude and the Babel Fish

2006-09-25T08:57:00.000+03:00

The process is a simple one.Find your favorite poems. Read them once to absorb their gist, get moved by their softness; let the musical words dance on your tongue and in your ears. Let your heart dance with the inner workings of the poem.Now destroy. Here’s how:Copy the poem.Paste it in the AltaVista Babel Fish automated translator.Translate it from English to Japanese.Translate the generated

who missed the moon?

2006-09-24T17:02:00.000+03:00

His Holy Crescent-Spottinngness Ayatollah Sistani in Iran says Ramadan begins on Monday. Yes, sirree, this means that Sunnis started fasting on Friday, some Shiites on Saturday, and the Iran-loving Shiites will fast tomorrow.Yet again, Ramadan is a time not only to fast, but to make political statements. If the Sunnis and Shiites are feeling happy with each other, they'll all pretend to have

Hezbollah rally update

2006-09-22T16:02:00.000+03:00

Al-Manar TV, Hezbollah's 'spokestation,' has called today's rally "The Largest Ever Assembly of Human Beings in Lebanon's History."In case you missed the point...this means that this rally managed to bring together more people than the March 14 rally on (you guessed it) March 14, 2005.Next thing you know, the March 14 camp will want to stage an "A Lot Larger Than The Largest Ever Assembly of

rally for divine victory

2006-09-22T15:25:00.000+03:00

What you see before you is a group of university students. These kids go to the American university of Beirut. These pictures were taken today. I have even better ones but I didn’t want to expose the idiot with the Hezbollah shirt. Yellow is fine. The guy’s inclinations and political motivations are acceptable. Whoever you follow in this country, you are free to be brainwashed and become part of

the Lebanese people sure love their country

2006-09-22T11:52:00.000+03:00

You’ll hear Lebanese people having a heated debate about Hezbollah. They’ll say, “These guys aren’t Lebanese. They are Iranian. These guys don’t care about Lebanon. We care about Lebanon. We lived and survived the war. Our houses were bombed. Nasrallah doesn’t give two squats about me or my family. These Shiites are anarchists. They don’t care. They’re so dirty and rude, they procreate too

United Colors of Bride-to-Be

2006-09-22T11:50:00.000+03:00

aimless angry ranting again

2006-09-20T12:26:00.000+03:00

Beirut at night is serene.Unless you are walking home along Mar Elias street, in which case you will have to maneuver around the heaps of garbage on the sidewalk. I took pictures of the piles, but unfortunately, because of Blogger™ Beta, I cannot show you the fine mess Beirut is becoming.Since I am the angry one here, I want to take a minute to discuss these very garbage piles. One night on my

fix it, goddamit

2006-09-20T11:30:00.000+03:00

Please fix the problem with picture posting.

apologies for dry blog

2006-09-19T10:06:00.000+03:00

Dear all,This Blogger™ Beta business is killing me. Ever since I made the switch (in tune with the technological advances of my age), I’ve had problem after problem posting pictures to the blog. All of you bloggers out there know that you need pics to spice up the blog. You also know that, in some cases, your entire blog is based around the pic. I don’t have this luxury.I also want to apologize

the divine victory

2006-09-18T15:24:00.000+03:00

Mr. Hassan Nasrallah has called for a rally on Friday to celebrate the divine victory, as he calls it. I don't think many people were happy with this decision; not many non-Hezbollah supporters of course.From my recent conversations with peers and colleagues, I am under the impression that there is bitterness in the air against the Hezbollah chief. There seems to exist a deep resentment for the

the spreading state

2006-09-14T10:58:00.000+03:00

According to this article, Israel has trespassed on Lebanese soil by about 20 meters.I curse the first man to ever draw a line down a patch of land and yell at his fellow man, saying, "This side of the line is mine and that side is yours!"

a thousand suns

2006-09-14T08:38:00.000+03:00

Yesterday afternoon I had my third laser hair-removal session. In other words, I was in for some major grilling. I thought I’d clear up some misconceptions and answer a few questions concerning this method of permanent (?) hair-removal. So, here are the FAQs.Q: How do I know that I am making the right choice?A: You don’t. You never will know. Any professional that you ask will tell you it’s a

letter to the lord

2006-09-12T10:17:00.000+03:00

Dear god,I am having trouble posting pictures to my blog. This makes my posts look dry. Plus, I am not able to spice up the posts with humorous pictures to make the writing more digestible. The guys at Blogger™ are doing their best but it’s not working. Please advise.Don’t you think that I’ve stepped in enough dogshit by now? I know that you’re the boss, but maybe you can take it easy with the

single day, several catastrophes

2006-09-12T08:02:00.000+03:00

Finally, the fifth 9/11 has passed. I was afraid to post a blog on the topic and compete with the bazillion people who wrote about the 9/11 myth and facts. I remember having been accused by one of my Canadian friends of being a conspiracy theorist because I don’t believe that George W. Bush’s ‘Islamocfascists’ had anything to do with it, and because I believe that the Bush administration had

we, the [pathetic] people

2006-09-08T08:01:00.001+03:00

According to this story from the BBC, a group of 60 school children booed Blair during a visit he made to the Quintin Kynaston specialist technology college in northwest London. The BBC quoted a 13-year-old girl as saying, “We understand some stupid people in politics are trying to kill the Lebanese and Iraqis and everybody else.”The protesters carried a 4-foot model of a dog biscuit as a “reward

women with big forearms

2006-09-07T11:14:00.000+03:00

It all started when I saw my female colleague’s forearms as she wiped her desk clean. I can honestly say that I was terrified. The size of those things was huge.A mother to a 12-year-old child, this colleague really has her muscles toned. I bet she could crush an unopened beer can.But the funny part is that, while searching for a picture to put on this post, I ran into this one. As soon as I

funny phrases

2006-09-07T08:45:00.000+03:00

Here are some funny phrases found in today's news articles. Enjoy."a positive signal"The EU presidency describing Israel’s decision to end its embargo on Lebanon. Sharon's withdrawal from the Gaza Strip a year ago was also taken to be a positive signal. Look what's going on in the Strip now."despite the embargo"Used to describe the flight of Qatar Airways and the British Airways franchise partner

sinister handshake

2006-09-06T11:20:00.000+03:00

As part of efforts to normalize the political situation in Lebanon, the Hariri family-owned daily Al-Mustaqbal reproduced this picture depicting returned exile, Gen. Michel Aoun, witnessing the handshake between the Lebanese army and the Israeli one. In order to bring the political debate back to normal, Al-Mustaqbal re-launched its smear campaign against Aoun. This is not to say that Aoun is

better safe than sorry

2006-09-06T09:28:00.000+03:00

The latest news reports on Lt. Col. Samir Shehade say that the man sustained minor injuries in the blast that targeted his convoy yesterday morning. But here’s something revealing…The Naharnet.com story said that “four aides and bodyguards were killed and another five were wounded in the attack.” Does that mean that the deputy chief of the intelligence department in Lebanon's internal security

to O.B.

2006-09-05T13:42:00.000+03:00

Beirut impromptu® would like to welcome its new visitor(s) from Sudan.Glad you got there safely.GM

it doesn't take long

2006-09-05T12:27:00.001+03:00

No sooner had Qatar courageously ‘breached’ the Israeli blockade on Lebanese airspace and territorial water than things went back to normal. Lt. col. Samir Shehade, the former head of the intelligence branch of the internal security forces, was targeted by an explosion in Rmeileh, south of Beirut. Two members of his convoy were killed while he sustained minimal wounds. Shehade was involved in the

will Arabs ever learn?

2006-09-05T07:53:00.000+03:00

As expected, the Qatar Airways Airbus 320 landed at Rafik Hariri International Airport in Beirut at 3:20 pm. As expected, this flight was publicized as a “defiance of the Israeli blockade”, even by the Israeli daily Jerusalem Post. But the Israeli newspaper was quick to add that “An IDF spokesman said the Qatar Airways flight was coordinated with Israel and was the fourth Qatari flight to land

Israeli relics in south Lebanon

2006-09-04T13:45:00.000+03:00

can't hide it for long

2006-09-04T12:46:00.000+03:00

Aha. It now makes more sense…Just now, the Qatari Foreign Minister pledged up to 300 troops for the UN peacekeeping force in Lebanon. The Sheikh Hamad bin Jassem bin Jabr al-Thani (what a mouthful) said this step was a show of Arab solidarity. The natural gas-rich emirate is the first Arab state to contribute a force to the UNIFIL.Another coincidence is that Qatar is the only Arab country on the

political slumber party

2006-09-04T10:05:00.000+03:00

Everyone loves a good show. And, in light of the Israeli war on Lebanon, local television stations have been exhausted on the creative level. Even the most avid political connoisseurs have grown jaded with the hours-on-end of talk shows and political muscle-flexing. What’s the solution? Our very own political Star Academy, held on the premises of the Lebanese Parliament in downtown Beirut.In this

a cursed day

2006-09-01T10:06:00.001+03:00

August 31 should be put down as a very sinister and uncanny day in the history of the Middle East. Not only does the day coincide with Hassan Nasrallah’s birthday and the commemoration of the disappearance of Moussa al-Sadr, but this August 31 was also a bloody one.Ambulance sirens would not stop yesterday. Throughout the capital, sirens were heard dashing back and forth, carrying anonymous dead/

the Lobby and the Israeli invasion of Lebanon: their facts and ours

2006-09-01T07:57:00.000+03:00

An interesting article, actually.The Jewish Lobbyists publish the number of Israel’s civilian dead as 41, forgetting to mention that only 23 were Jews, the remaining 18 were members of Israel’s Arab Muslim and Christian minority who constitute around 20% of the population. The disproportionate number of Israeli Arabs killed was a result of the Israeli government policy of providing shelters and

happy birthday

2006-08-31T13:52:00.000+03:00

Today, August 31st, coincides with the birthday of Mr. Hezbollah himself, Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah, may god keep his beard lice-free. So, all together now, happy birthday to you!!!Coincidentally, today also coincides with the day Moussa al-Sadr disappeared. The dude, if alive today, would be 79 years old. Nonetheless, some people (hint: a certain Speaker of the House) still believe that he is

private thoughts, horoscopes and Oh-My-God!

2006-08-31T11:24:00.000+03:00

Tuning your mind to the blogging business is not very easy. I think that spilling your guts into the great unknown is one of the hardest things to do. Unless you’re an exhibitionist. In a sense, all blog readers are voyeurs. The highlighted words are sure to attract a lot of “Search Engine Visitors”.Anyway, today I will attempt to forget that I am not an exhibitionist (and you are all

joke of the year

2006-08-31T09:36:00.000+03:00

An Israeli recently arrives at London's Heathrow airport. The customs officer starts asking him questions, as listed on the immigration entry form." Name?""Eli Fleischman""Occupation..?"The Israeli promptly replies: "No, just visiting!"---------------------------------This is really funny, provided you're not a pro-Zionist Israeli or pro-Israeli NeoCon. Feel free to e-mail it to your friends.

writer's block

2006-08-29T08:18:00.000+03:00

Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. Maybe there hasn't been anything worth mentioning. I hate to talk about the same old shit concerning the politics, despite every instinct and urge to comment on the "confiscation" of Hezbollah weapons by the Lebanese army in the south.I also have nothing to say about Kofi Annan's visit to Lebanon and the short trip he made to the annihilated villages in the

idiots

2006-08-28T13:35:00.000+03:00

As French troops arrived to Beirut by boat, these idiot bathers were busy soaking their bodies in the slimy goo that covers the Lebanese territorial waters. This environmental catastrophe has not kept idiots from taking their children into the water.

when you ask yourself questions like this:

2006-08-28T10:01:00.000+03:00

What the hell am I doing behind a desk in Beirut while my friends are emailing me pictures they took, such as these: This is Norway... Thank you Sandrine.

Friday under the stars

2006-08-28T09:05:00.000+03:00

On Friday night, we drank wine under a billion stars in a calm and cozy village some 45 minutes south of Beirut. It was a serene night full of existential questions on existence, God, evolution, flatulence and diarrhea.Needless to say, we were a great feast for the mosquitoes; all-you-can-eat. Somebody needs to explain to me why God created these bloodsucking buzzers. Also, why did Noah take two

wine kills conspiracy theory

2006-08-28T08:32:00.000+03:00

I have answers.Wine is one of the best potions for loosening the tongue. Not only will it make for hours of conversation, but it will also bring forth many answers. A couple of wine bottles helped put an end to the rumors that have been circulating about the MEA (Middle East Airlines) landings in Jordan.Recently, the bovine Lebanese people have been supporting and spreading rumors that claim that

the world is changing...

2006-08-25T14:20:00.001+03:00

...too fast.Read more.